Parents will instantly recognize the sensual joy this man feels as he calls a Parent Fantasy Hotline in this sketch by comedy duo Hamish and Andy. Played out like a sex chat line, a new father (play by Hamish Blake) calls up to live vicariously through the childless operator played by Andy Lee.
Sighing with satisfaction Blake is enraptured as the operator talks about his child-free activities, discussing his spontaneous Friday night drinking with friends, staying out to 1AM, and having a lie in Saturday morning, because he had no commitments. None.
Blake can barely contain himself when Lee talks about how he woke up, casually got himself—and only himself—breakfast, and then nonchalantly laid on the couch and watched movies. "This isn't a special weekend?" remarks Blake. "Not your birthday or anything?"
Any parent, especially if they currently have young children or newborns, will empathize with Hamish in this sketch. Forget sex chat lines, when you become a parent all that goes out the window, your new fantasy is free time and what you imagine yourself doing with it.
Because for the next couple of years of your life you'll never have any. Ever.
Face it, long gone are those days when, on a whim, you could arrange to meet anybody for a quick drink or bite to eat. Or anything that doesn't require months of planning.