When your partner says "talk dirty to me" in the romantic build up to making the beast with two backs, there are some pretty surefire ways to completely kill the mood. Sure there are many things to say during sex to do the opposite (which i'm sure we've all tried) but that's not our concern here. Instead our concern is what NOT to say when the topic of 'talk dirty to me' comes up, because this is currently the hilarious topic on Twitter.
A recent hashtag game #WhenHavingSexDontSay started on Twitter asked the question and of course there was no shortage of people who jumped in with their expert advice on how to totally ruin some afternoon delight.
Or evening delight, for that matter.
This being Twitter humor and wit were the main staple of the types of phrases people were coming up with. Phrases like don't say "That'll do pig, that'll do.", "My Grandfather died in this bed." Or call out her sister's name.
But, to Twitter's credit, along with being funny they are almost certainly good suggestions of what to avoid whispering into your partner's ear when asked "talk dirty to me". And be warned, some are downright weird.
When Having Sex Don't Say These Things. Ever
Of course, whether you intend using any of these phrases when you are getting jiggy with your significant other is totally up to you, i guess it all depends on whether you are the kind of person who enjoys a night of romance and a good sleep, or an uncomfortable night of sleeping alone on the sofa. A total 'talk dirty to me' fail.
So you can look at these tweets as both great advice and a welcome dose of bedroom humor. So next time someone says 'talk dirty to me' when having sex don't say these things and remember what you have learned here. Unless of course you are the kind of person who needs to try this out just to see if it's true. You fool.
Check out some of the responses below. See the #WhenHavingSexDontSay on Twitter for more.