Ladies, it's time to get personal, so make sure no one is looking over your shoulder or eavesdropping as they might hear something about you that you'd rather be discreet about, because it's not really a subject you’re willing to talk about - Because you are concerned that either you, or someone you might know, is a 'basic bitch'?
There are some very easy tell-tale signs to diagnose this symptom For instance, in college did you own a pair of sweat pants that said “sexy” on the butt? Or how about Uggs, do you have a pair(s) and tacky tattoos, are there any currently on your person? If so then you may want to seek professional help right away, because you might have a serious case of basic bitchiness.
But fear not, we have a specialist doctor in the field (Patrick Warburton) to help you. He knows exactly what to look for and can give you a very quick diagnosis and let you know what long-term effects will be.
And guys, don't for one moment think that you get out of this just because you have a penis, watch yourselves too, you might well be a 'basic dick' and you don’t even know it.
Remember, it's a scary world out there people. #grim